Happy Non-Birthday, Elphie
by musicgal3
Summary: Elphaba and Nessarose have never celebrated their Birthdays. So what happens when Galinda gets curious about when Elphaba's Birthday actually is? THREE-SHOT, now with BONUS CHAPTER.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This is a piece I began last year. It's a three-shot that sprang to mind on my Birthday. I really did not feel like celebrating my Birthday, as my Nana's Birthday was exactly a week before mine, but she passed away in February. I was always very close to my Nana, even though I hadn't seen her since I was twelve, and so that week was particularly tough for me. It got me thinking about how Elphaba most likely doesn't celebrate her Birthday, and I wondered, would Nessa? She might, but she might not. There could be all different reasons for or against, but ultimately I decided, for this piece, that she wouldn't. I won't post this all in one go, but will spread it out over the next few days.  
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**Happy Non-Birthday, Elphie  
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**CHAPTER 1:**

"So are you coming? …Eeee! Great, I'll see you then!" Galinda snapped her pink cellphone shut with a squeal of joy and a little bounce.

"What's got _you_ so excited?" Elphaba asked, eyeing Galinda over the top of her book, wincing at the sound coming from her room-mate.

"I'm just planning my party," Galinda answered nonchalantly.

"Oh, is that all." Elphaba's eyes flicked back to her book momentarily, before she looked back up. "Wait…you're _planning_ a party? Don't you usually just throw them on a whim?"

Galinda wrinkled her nose up at Elphaba. "On a whim? Don't be silly, I usually try to hire the Ozdust Ballroom."

Elphaba's eye-roll went unnoticed by the blonde.

"I'm _planning_ my _Birthday_ party."

"_Birthday_ party?"

Galinda nodded. "It's in two weeks and you and Fiyero are my guest of honours."

Elphaba frowned. "Don't you mean _guests_ of _honour_?"

"That's what I said, guest of honours."

"No, Galinda, two _guests_, one _honour_. The way you say it makes it sound like there's _one_ guest of _two_ honours. It's _guests_ of _honour_," Elphaba tried to explain, putting an emphasis on each 's'.

Galinda sighed. "Fine, have it your way. Guests of honours." Elphaba shook her head as Galinda continued, "Anyway, I actually managed to get the Ballroom on my Birthday this year."

"Congratulotions. What date is it again?"

"December twenty-sixth. And yours is…" She paused in thought. "When _is_ yours? Oz, Elphaba, I've just realized that you've never actually told me when your Birthday is!"

Elphaba shrugged. "So I haven't." Not wishing to pursue this line of conversation, she turned over on her stomach and continued reading.

Galinda, however, did not take the hint, and bounced onto Elphaba's bed, peering into her friend's face. "Well? Are you going to tell me?"

"No."

Galinda pouted. "Why not?"

"Look, Galinda, just drop it." It had come out harsher than she'd intended, causing Galinda to go to her own bed in a huff.

After a while, unable to stand the tension – or the thought she'd hurt Galinda's feelings – Elphaba quietly said, "We don't celebrate our Birthdays."

Galinda gasped and stared at Elphaba, eyes and mouth wide open. "You don't celebrate your Birthday?! But…why not? You _have_ to! Everyone does!"

"We have nothing to celebrate." Elphaba looked away. "Nessa doesn't celebrate her Birthday because it's also the anniversary of our mother's death. Nessa feels like it's her fault – she feels guilty. And if Nessa won't celebrate _her_ Birthday, why should _I _celebrate _mine_? I caused all this to happen in the first place. There's nothing for me to celebrate. I've been trying to forget what day I was born. I don't even care about my age." She was quiet for a moment, trying not to let the emotion overwhelm her. "I have more to be guilty about than Nessa does. Can you understand now?" She raised her head to meet Galinda's eyes.

Galinda nodded. "I guess." She went over and hugged her friend. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pried."

Elphaba shrugged. "It's okay, I guess. No-one ever wanted to celebrate my Birthday; I didn't even know what Birthdays were until Father told Nessa they weren't going to celebrate hers because of our mother." This was spoken in barely a whisper.

Galinda's arms tightened around Elphaba. "Oh, Elphie, I am so sorry! I can't believe you didn't know what Birthdays were! I'm not making you feel too awkward by celebrating mine, am I? If so, I can cancel the party," she offered, though she did look rather disappointed at the thought.

Elphaba gave a weak smile and patted Galinda's arm fondly if awkwardly. "It's okay. You go ahead and celebrate – I'm not stopping anyone else from celebrating _their_ Birthdays, I just don't want to celebrate my own. Do you understand?"

Galinda nodded fervently. "I understand, Elphie, I do!"

"Good. Now would you please release me before I lose all capacity for breathing?" Elphaba asked kindly.

"Sorry," Galinda said, immediately letting go of her friend.

While Elphaba went back to her reading, Galinda sat back on her heels and stared at her, her mind going into overdrive with a whirlwind of ideas that sprang suddenly from the deep recesses of her disused brain.

After a moment, realizing Galinda was staring at her, Elphaba peered up and frowned. "What?"

"Nothing," Galinda said quickly, bounding off her bed and out the door. "I just have to see Fifi. I'll be back soon."

"Uh-huh," Elphaba mumbled with a sigh. Now perhaps she'd have a couple of hours of peace and quiet.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Here is the next instalment. I thought it would be interesting to have Galinda's Birthday set the day after Lurlinemas (I wonder if there is an Ozian equivalent of Boxing Day?), but the other Birthdays are based on some of my favourite 'Wicked' performers'. Elphaba's Birthday is, of course, Willemijn Verkaik's; I gave Fiyero Rob Mills' Birthday instead of Anton Zetterholm's because Anton shares his Birthday with my Nana, so I felt it was too personal a date for me to use in a fic; and Nessa's Birthday is Nicole Radeschnig's, because I couldn't find Catherine Charlebois' OR Amanda Rose's OR Elissa Colla's, and I kind of saw Nessa as more of a July person than an October person, so that ruled out Natalie Anderson's. So that's my long and boring story about how I came up with the Birthdays, for those who weren't interested.**

**On with the REAL story!**

**But before I do, I want to send a special shout-out to James Birdsong. You always leave such lovely reviews but I never get to tell you how much they mean to me! So thankyou!**

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**CHAPTER 2:**

"Hey, Nessa," Fiyero began casually.

Nessarose peered up at Fiyero. "Yes, Fiyero?"

"Um, so I was wondering…uh…" How did Galinda expect him to phrase this? This was so awkward. He sat on a bench beside Nessarose's chair and thought for a moment, looking at his hands.

"Did you want something?" Nessarose asked, impatience seeping through her voice already.

"When's Elphaba's Birthday?" Fiyero blurted out, biting his lip immediately after. _Tactful, Fiyero. Very tactful._

Nessarose looked at him blankly for a moment, before her gaze hardened. "Elphaba doesn't celebrate her Birthday."

"I know," Fiyero pressed, "but when is it?"

Nessarose eyed him suspiciously. "Why do you want to know?"

"Uh, well, I…it's Galinda. You know how curious she can get…and Elphaba won't tell her, so…"

"So she sent you over to charm me into telling; I see. Well, you've wasted your time. It won't work."

Fiyero sighed and looked at her pleadingly. "Please, Nessa. If I go back to Galinda without the desired information…she's gonna _kill_ me."

"And what makes you think you don't deserve to be killed?" Nessarose bit stiffly.

Fiyero drew back in shock. "Well, nothing, but I'd kinda like to live." He made one last desperate attempt, taking Nessarose's hand gently. "Please, Nessa. Please tell me."

Nessarose looked disdainfully at her hand clasped firmly in his, before withdrawing it and heaving a sigh. "June sixteenth."

Fiyero beamed and kissed Nessarose on the cheek. "Thankyou, Nessa," he said gratefully, standing up. "Thankyou." As he began to walk away, he paused and turned to look at her once more. "Out of curiosity, when's yours?"

"My what?"

"Birthday."

"I don't celebrate mine, either."

"I know." Fiyero moved off again as Nessarose wheeled herself away from him.

"July thirty-first."

Fiyero smiled to himself.

"Weeeeell?" Galinda screeched in Fiyero's ear, causing him to wince.

"It took a lot of persuasion."

"But when is it?" Galinda pressed.

"I _really_ hope I never have to go through anything like that again."

"Fiyerooo!" Galinda whined impatiently.

"June sixteenth."

Galinda gasped dramatically. "That's just a few days before yours! We should throw you two a joint Birthday party!"

"Somehow, I don't think Elphaba would be too appreciative of that."

"Too what?"

"I don't think she would like that idea very much," Fiyero rephrased.

Galinda sighed. "No, I suppose not. Oooh, but we _must_ throw her a party!"

"Can you seriously see Elphaba liking a party?" Fiyero asked Galinda doubtfully. "Especially one in her honour? And you know she doesn't celebrate her Birthday."

Galinda merely grinned. "The way we do it? She'll love it."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:**** So here's the last instalment of HN-BE! I hope you all enjoy!**

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**CHAPTER 3:**

"Galinda, I've told you a thousand times. I don't feel like going out at all today, much less all done up like this," Elphaba protested as Galinda physically dragged her across the Shiz University campus, gesturing wildly to the lilac dress and light make-up Galinda had forced her to wear.

"But Elllphie, it's important! I wanna shoooow you something!" Galinda told her, giving her arm an extra-large tug.

Elphaba huffed but said nothing, as they had just come to a dimly-lit shelter – but they weren't the first ones there.

Fiyero and Boq stood as Galinda and Elphaba approached.

Elphaba turned to Galinda. "What is going on?" she demanded.

The three grinned and chorused, "Happy Non-Birthday, Elphie!"

Elphaba fixed each one of them with a stare, before managing to get out a confused, "What?"

"Well," Galinda launched into her explanation, "I know you don't celebrate your Birthday, but we had to do _something_ – I mean, come on, as if I'm going to let my best friend's Birthday slip by without the party she deserves! – but I know you don't like parties, anyway, so I figured that if we just had a quiet gathering with the people closest to you, maybe you wouldn't hate it so much."

Elphaba's eyebrow rocketed almost to her hairline. "Seriously? 'Non-Birthday'?"

"As I said, you don't celebrate your Birthday, so we couldn't very well wish you a Happy Birthday when you don't see it as such, could we? So Happy Non-Birthday it is!" Galinda grinned with pride at her invention.

Before Elphaba could protest or launch into an anger-induced tirade, Fiyero took her gently yet firmly by the elbow and led her to a bench. With a huff, Elphaba threw herself down onto the bench.

"Where's Nessa?" Galinda whispered to Fiyero.

"She says she's not coming," Fiyero whispered back.

Unfortunately, Elphaba overheard the exchange and her heart sank. She was not keen on celebrating her Birthday – or even her Non-Birthday – at all, no matter how well-intentioned Galinda's idea had been, but she was, nevertheless, touched that her few friends wanted to do something to mark the occasion. However, her sister had been conspicuous by her absence, and the thought that Nessa did not want any part of Elphaba's reluctant celebration stung. Still, Elphaba put on a brave face and pretended that nothing was wrong. "So," she asked Galinda, "what does one do at a 'Non-Birthday Party'?"

Galinda pasted her usual chirpy smile back on her face. "Exactly the same thing as at a Birthday Party, except we sing 'Happy Non-Birthday' instead of 'Happy Birthday'!"

Elphaba groaned. "No singing, please."

Galinda, however, didn't pay any attention. Instead, she clapped her hands and announced, "Okay, present time! As the organizer, I go first." She retrieved a large box wrapped in an ostentatious green-and-pink-striped pattern and presented it to Elphaba, who cringed inwardly sight.

Even so, Elphaba managed a genuine smile and thanked Galinda for her gift as she opened it to reveal a long, black dress.

"I really wanted to get you a pretty pink dress I saw that would suit you _perfectly_," Galinda babbled, "but I know how you detest pink – though Oz knows why – but then I saw this one and I knew it was you. Oh, do say you'll wear it at _least_ once!"

Elphaba promised she would indeed wear the dress, realizing how much thought Galinda had put into her choice of gift. She had to admit, the dress was a lot nicer than most of the ones Galinda usually suggested.

Delighted with Elphaba's reaction, Galinda swooped in for a big hug.

"I hope you like my gift, Miss Elphaba," Boq said politely as he presented said gift to Elphaba with a flourish.

Elphaba carefully tore open the paper to reveal a large book. "Thankyou very much, Boq," Elphaba said, turning the leather-bound volume over in her hands. "How did you know?"

"Galinda mentioned you had a set of encyclopaedias, but that you were missing the last volume. I knew you would be wanting the last one, so I managed to find it for you," Boq said proudly.

"Thankyou, Boq."

Galinda and Boq turned expectantly towards Fiyero, who cleared his throat and thrust forward small gift in embarrassment.

"Happy Non-Birthday, Elphaba," he said quietly.

Elphaba gave a nervous smile as she carefully unwrapped the gift to find a box beneath the layer of paper. She looked at it as it sat in her hand, waiting to be opened.

"Well?" Galinda asked impatiently. "Are you going to open it?"

Slowly, Elphaba did as she was bid and lifted the lid of the box to reveal a brooch nestled among a layer of satin. She gasped as she took in the exquisite handiwork of the piece of jewellery. Tiny red stones made up the shape of a poppy flower, and six black stones sat in the centre. The flower rested upon a white gold setting. Elphaba lifted the delicate treasure and the soft light caught the gems, making them sparkle.

Galinda's eyes widened considerably as Elphaba looked up at Fiyero.

"Oh, Fiyero, thankyou, but I can't accept this," she said in amazement. "It's far too expensive."

Fiyero shook his head. "It's not too expensive. I can afford it; I'm a prince, remember?" he tried to joke. "You can accept it and you will accept it." He gently took the brooch from her grasp and pinned it to her dress. "There."

Elphaba's face broke into a smile. "Thankyou, Fiyero," she whispered.

Fiyero inclined his head in acknowledgement, before the moment was broken by Galinda's squeals.

"Cake time!"

Nessarose looked on from the shadows as the four friends shared Elphaba's Non-Birthday cake. She sighed sadly.

And on the breeze, Elphaba thought she heard her sister's voice: "Happy Birthday, Elphaba."

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**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any of the characters mentioned in the above story; they belong in their entirety to L. Frank Baum and Gregory Maguire. I DO, however, own the story, which is protected in my name under Australian Copyright Law dating back to 2013.**


	4. BONUS Chapter

**BONUS CHAPTER:**

_**In honour of Dimpled's Birthday**_

"Did you enjoy your evening?"

Elphaba's head jerked up in surprised as she turned around at the sound of a voice. At the sight of Fiyero leaning against a nearby tree, Elphaba smiled. "I never thought I'd say this, but I did – very much. Thankyou for helping to make it so special."

Fiyero returned Elphaba's smile and sat down beside her. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. I was a bit worried about how you might take it," he admitted, "but you know how set on these things Galinda can get."

Elphaba gave a soft laugh, before turning sombre. "I really didn't want to do anything today. I have nothing to celebrate. I killed my mother and paralyzed my sister."

Fiyero began to protest but Elphaba cut him off.

"Don't. My father has made it perfectly clear that it's my fault. I'm not so heartless as to celebrate something like that." She paused, before continuing in a voice so soft, Fiyero strained to hear her. "I never thought I'd have any friends. To find myself in the middle of a private party thrown by three people who, for whatever reason, actually _like_ me…it was a little overwhelming." She fingered her brooch, before looking up at Fiyero. "Thankyou for making me feel like I'm actually worth something."

Fiyero turned his body to face her and cupped her cheek in his hand. "Elphaba, you _are_ worth something. You're worth more than all the emeralds in Oz put together. You're unique, and that's why I love you."

Elphaba pulled away. "Don't say such ridiculous things," she said sharply, trying to keep her voice from shaking.

Fiyero pulled her back to him. "What I say is not ridiculous; it's the truth." He forced her to look at him and searched her eyes in earnest. "Elphaba Thropp, I love you."

Elphaba drew in a deep breath. She didn't want to know, but she had to ask. "Do you mean that?"

Fiyero nodded. "With all my heart." He waited with baited breath until Elphaba finally spoke once more.

"I love you, too."

His heart leaping for joy, Fiyero slowly lowered his head so his lips met hers in a sweet but tentative kiss.

After a long, intense moment, Elphaba pulled away and rested her head one Fiyero's chest, gazing out over Suicide Canal.

Fiyero dropped a kiss on her temple and stroked her hair gently. "Happy Non-Birthday, Elphie."

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**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any of the characters mentioned in the above story; they belong in their entirety to L. Frank Baum and Gregory Maguire. I DO, however, own the story, which is protected in my name under Australian Copyright Law dating back to 2013.**


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